You know when a particular message repeatedly strikes you from multiple angles? Say you hear a podcast and something poignant sticks out. The next day, your friend mentions a sermon she heard with a similar theme. Later that day you get an email from your Aunt Janice who’s sent you something she read and thought you’d appreciate. When you read the attachment, lo and behold, it’s largely the same idea. Finally, the next day, you open your Bible…and you guessed it. At this point, your slow-to-hear self finally decides God might be speaking to you.
Or maybe this is just me…
Whether you can relate or not, I had this experience recently.
This time around it started in a book I’m reading with some women from church. The title is A Gospel Primer by Milton Vincent, and while it’s short (under 100 pages), I’ve found it quite powerful. Basically, in 31 concise lessons, Vincent spells out reasons to rehearse the gospel to yourself daily. After the lesson portion of the book, two Scripture-centered gospel narratives (one prose, one poem) are included to help you start practicing. The book concludes with Vincent’s personal story, essentially his years-long struggle with a works mentality that robbed him of freedom in Christ. I’ve enjoyed this little book; it’s incredibly grace-oriented.
At any rate, the first delivery of the message came in one of the daily lessons in A Gospel Primer titled: “Resting in Christ’s Righteousness.” First, let me state that theologically, I have a complete understanding of Christ’s propitiation for my sins. I know that apart from His atoning death, I am unable to stand justified in the sight of God. Additionally, I have come a long, long way in my ability to rest in the righteousness secured for me on the cross. Even so, I recognize unbelief (largely unconscious on a daily level) that hinders my full freedom in Christ. Thus, these words from Vincent stood out to me: “I never have to do a moment’s labor to gain or maintain my justified status before God! Freed from the burden of such a task, I now can put my energies into enjoying God, pursuing holiness, and ministering God’s amazing grace to others” (emphasis mine).
I love this. Any attempt to earn my standing before God is futile and keeps me from enjoying Him. What’s more, my efforts in relationships, school, work…all of it, come up short when I’m laboring in my own strength. Yet, I constantly find myself relying on my own abilities. And then when I inevitably fall short, I’m tempted toward condemnation. But the fact is, neither my failed efforts nor the condemnation that follows are burdens I’m meant to carry.
On this same day, I found myself reading a wildly different book (for school) titled Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott. This humorous (and often edgy) title was penned for writers with musings and instruction on the craft. Lamott has a chapter on perfectionism, and it opens like this: “Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life, and it is the main obstacle between you and a sh*tty first draft.” While the main thrust is to encourage writers to put aside their inner critic and get on with writing (and while some might find the language offensive), there is a lot of wisdom and truth packed in the statement…not just for writers, but for Christians.
I found myself quite taken by Lamott’s opening because I struggle with perfectionist tendencies in some areas. But the reality is, perfectionism isn’t for Jesus Followers. I will daily miss the mark until I see Christ face to face. In short, I will never be perfect this side of heaven. Wallowing in my failures is a brilliant tactic of the enemy, the oppressor of God’s people. And indeed, it keeps me in a cycle of insanity, because freedom is lost in the face of self-loathing. It only keeps me from getting back in the race. What’s the antidote? Run to Christ, rest in forgiveness, and joyfully get back to life. Where sin abounds, grace abounds much more (Romans 5:20).
The final portion of the message, and the moment the three pieces synthesized for me, came the following morning as I was reading Luke 7. In this chapter, we find John the Baptist marooned in prison. His former disciples (now walking with Jesus) come and tell him about Jesus’ ministry of miracles, yet John seems discouraged. In what appears a dark moment of doubt, he sends the disciples to Jesus to inquire if He is truly the Messiah they’ve been waiting for. This is the same man who earlier proclaimed Jesus was the Lamb of God who came to take the sins of the world! Jesus sends the disciples back and instructs them to reiterate his miraculous works and adds this: “Blessed is the one who is not offended by Me” (Luke 7:23).
Something was happening in John’s heart to cause him to be offended by Christ. Maybe he thought Jesus should free him from prison, or maybe he wanted him to overthrow Roman rule. Whatever was happening with John, what stood out to me, in light of the previous day’s messages, was how easily I, too, am offended by the ways of Jesus. Even though I’m convinced I can’t be righteous on my own, I still find myself in a cycle of self-reliance, in puny efforts at perfectionism. Then when I fail, I’m tempted to swim in a sea of despair at my ineptitude instead of resting in His grace. No matter what I say I believe, my actions declare that I’m offended by Jesus, by the way of the cross, which says…you never have, and you never will do anything good on your own.
From A Gospel Primer to Bird by Bird to Luke 7, I hear God reminding me His ways are not my ways: Condemnation is the antithesis of the gospel, perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, and self-reliance is demonstrated offense at Jesus.
The answer is simple, though perhaps not easy, and goes back to the title of Vincent’s message: “Resting in Christ’s Righteousness.” All three of these issues find their resolve in this phrase.
I haven’t even come close to finding my full rest in Christ, and maybe you haven’t either. But it’s okay. I mean that’s the point of this post, isn’t it? With Jesus there is grace. In Him, we will press on, and in Him, we will move toward greater freedom.
And though we won’t arrive on this side of heaven, one day our rest will be complete.
Insightful words, presented in a thoughtful manner, from a beautiful heart. Great post Tiffany.